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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 22
12th September, 2005 'MR MAFIA RESULTS TO BE ANNOUNCED TONIGHT ' The contestants in the Mr Mafia contest are to be put out of their mystery later on tonight when the results of the contest are announced. The announcement was delayed from its original schedule of Saturday by the untimely demise of the hostess and organiser, Tallulah. Many have been waiting patiently to find out who the ultimate winner is, although one of the contestants has threatened to sue the newspaper following the story carried in a previous issue regarding bribery and threats made against the judges. The actual death threat containing information about previous bribes was produced, but dismissed as a fake despite a copy having been produced by the contestant himself at Tallulah’s funeral. There has been much rumour and speculation as to who will win the overall contest, and each round has been hard fought with many excellent answers. All the results are in now, and we shouldn’t have to wait too long for the winners to be revealed. 'THE DEATH OF A STREET BOSS' By: Karen L. Strickland Late on the night of Thursday the 8th day of September, one of our world’s peace loving, and beloved Street Bosses was shot down in cold murder. With Franklin_Figueroa’s death, a mystery to his family, they openly mourned at his gravesite…licking his coffin, leaving cookies and flowers behind. However, his family…through their mourning did not fret. They knew they were well protected. They knew they would soon have a place to hang their hats, and commence their licking of windows. Mr. Franklin_Figueroa was a prominent member of a very tight knit family foundation, known as the United Nations. Franklin was acting as representative Street Boss. While he was, and his memory will always be, dearly beloved by all the UN family members, he was not indeed the highest leader. The United Nations are a friendly, peaceful group. Family orientated to the extreme, looking after each other, watching one another’s backs at all times. Sharing in their newfound fondness for horse racing. They will move on and rise above the tragedy that was Franklin’s death, select a new representative and continue on in their lives. The United Nations stand together as one, never wavering in their loyalty to one another, never failing to aid a member in need. The current members and their offspring will live on in these streets for all of eternity. 'KING OF THE COASTLINE' By Newspaper Intern Recently Relapsed announced that he was now running Miami. This brought a fair amount of discussion on the streets even some name-calling. The Newspaper Intern sat down with him to find out a bit more about the man who runs Miami. When asked why Miami of all places Relapsed said that he was carrying out his father’s dream of controlling Miami. He declined to elaborate on his family history but given the way he carried himself it is likely that his family has a long history in our world. While there are many street bosses around recently Citizens have been flexing their powers. We sought to find out why one citizen opted to control a city. So what is so great about Miami? Well Relapsed loves the isolation that it provides yet still providing him with access to other major cities via the airways, and even though he runs Miami relapsed does find time to travel. In fact he loves to travel around the country talking with locals and if another name is in the obits well Relapsed says it only helps his image. Stay Clear. When he’s not travelling or running his Miami Relapsed says he likes to hang out at Jesspre’s. The owners make sure that it is a peaceful place and that appeals to a man to has enough on his hands. If you’re in Jesspre’s you’ll know Relapsed by his flashy size 12’s and his tailored suits that only come in two colours, white or black. So what does The boss of Miami eat? Well surprisingly he loves blue crabs from the Chesapeake Bay but he also said he is dieing to try some LobsterNuts soon if at all possible. And while the locals may not be pleased with his preference I don’t think they will put up too much fuss not when his running the city. When asked how his announcement has been received Relapsed said it falls into two categories. The first group doubted his organization and even mocked them. Relapsed is not at all concerned with these in fact he finds it “funny”. The second group supported his efforts. After his announcement he says his mail was full of support and many job inquiries as well. Relapsed said that many do not know his family history and should not judge him without this information. His reluctance to reveal this info clouds things but it is sure that we have not heard the last from Relapsed as he oversees the Miami coastline FORGOTTEN MEN: THE TRUTH ''' It was revealed to our reporter earlier today that the Forgotten Men are a gang formed with the aim of building one of the Street Bosses up to Made status, with donations of money etc in order to have a power base in our community. They have also stated that they have a list of people that they will kill once they are stronger, which is different from the one already posted. No further information on the list was forthcoming. '''THE MAFIA MUSE By: The Nameless Muse Why are we here in this world? For some it’s the wackgasm of a senseless killing. For others it’s the need to control. Still others are here for friendship and companionship. I’ve talked to many people from all walks of life in this world and my conclusion is not surprisingly that there are many different motivations for occupying this world. This may seem to be a gross simplification of motives and I am sure that we all have a mixture of all three motives I listed earlier. I guess I am talking about a dominant motive. I feel sorry for the bloodlines that are here purely to shoot and mug. What an awful existence. For some I guess they think they are only following orders and eventually their loyalty will be rewarded. However, they will never rise beyond thugs and hoodlums. For some I suppose that is enough and that makes me sad. Others are even worse off because they are acting completely in a random fashion. They will also never achieve anything in this world except a reputation as a mindless troll. Those that are here to satisfy their need to control come in all shapes and sizes. Some try to stay on the moral high ground while others live and die by the adage “Alls fair in love and war.” Most live in a grey area between the two extremes. It is after all a life of crime we are pursuing here (except for a very small minority of bankers and newspaper editors) so sometimes morals have to be ignored. I understand that and I’m sure most of the aspiring controllers sleep well when they finally sleep. I do have difficulty with those that say it is only a game. I admit it is the game of life but we all die and are judged by our actions in this world. All I can say to those is, “May GOD have mercy on your souls.” The last category that I see is the friendship and companionship motive. At first glance, it’s almost as if these people have wandered into our world by mistake. Why would you look to a violent and sometimes destructive society for friendship and companionship? Seems like the last place you should look. But upon examination I found that this is motivator for many of the long bloodlines that exist. Their families have seen just about everything this world has to offer and often they are disillusioned with the current state of affairs but they don’t want to lose contact with old acquaintances. Eventually they either get caught up in the power struggle or they drop out of sight. Those looking for companionship tend to come and go rather quickly. (no pun intended) But they often cause quite a stir like a meteor. They rise quickly and then disappear replaced by the next bright star in the sky. What does all this mean? I’m not sure. A muse is by definition a collection of thoughts. All I’m really trying to do is get my readers thinking. I fear there is far too little thinking going on in this world and perhaps if we each examine our motives for being here we’ll come to a better understanding of this world and what it takes for it to improve. 'THE COCTAIL LOUNGE' Barman: John_Cougar The original Tom Collins 1 level tsp. powdered sugar Juice of 1 lemon or 2 Tbsp. lemon juice 2 drops of oil of orange Juice of 1/2 a lime 1 oz. dry Gin Soda water Mix sugar, lemon juice and oil of orange in a tall water glass. Add lime juice and gin, stir well. Put in two medium lumps of ice, and fill to the top with soda water. Stir just a bit and serve. 'WALKING THE WIRE' Comment By: WireRope My Competition is a Fraud. I was doing the rounds on the streets checking windows for adverts and I came across one which caught my attention. A group called Gem productions had set up a company headed by lSourcel to paint portraits of Mafia mobsters and the citizens of the cities. I was outraged. This idea was a blatant trespass into the field of work my grandfather had painstakingly publicised, set up and run before he was killed. As the only member of the Rope family left I felt it was my duty to investigate this company. I mailed the individual in charge, but he had been killed before he had time to reply. However I carried on looking into the situation. I found out that out of the 5 people who had bought images from this company, 4 had been killed with little evidence of any pictures being painted. I may be jumping to conclusions but that’s not great odds. Either he picked his customers very poorly or there was more going on than a simple art store. I would urge you not to partake in work with this company, not only for the sake of my business, but for the sake of the quality and service you will receive and also to protect yourselves. I am using this article to make a public statement. My family business has re-opened, and anyone wanting paintings done can get them without the fear of death. The pay will vary on the complexity and whether or not the picture is colour. While I try and encourage all forms of legitimate business in these streets, anyone who directly takes an idea from me or any of my predecessors clearly doesn’t have the attitude or intelligence to start a business and make it work. There are many people carrying evidence of my grandfathers work and they know I will do an honest business with them with results that no common graffiti artist could ever recreate. 'WE HEAR THAT…' Gossip column by: Trixie ....RubberDoll contains no rubber. Instead she has high amounts of Silicon...Gee, Wonder why? ....Relapsed is secretly in love with Canada. Not just one person. No, the whole country. From Miguel to the Canadian ham he says there’s not one thing about it he doesn’t like. Even curling tickles his fancy! ....Hypocrisy is running rampant in our streets. People calling people out on one thing, and then turning around to do the same exact thing. Cute fellas real cute. ....StAnger is actually not angry. Just very, very moody. ....Rhiannon gave birth to a little girl this weekend. Named Valencia, she weighed 7lbs and 2oz. Congrats to the new mother. ....MadDog has been sneaking into St.MoneyZeb’s because he needs meds for his nervous twitch. Lexi says that in a month or so with no stress, and once mr. Mafia is over and he can stop bribing the judges he will return to normal. ....There’s a 95% Chance of bullshit today. So get your ponchos and Shovels, because its going to be knee deep. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to Tallulah at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. Horse for Sale Brilliant Hippy Superb runner & earner Cost over $700,00 will sell for $550,000 ONO MobMail JohnDavidson2 for details! Finding Neverland Bar Are you tired of Mugging? Shooting? Getting yelled at and abused? Do you want to just get away from it all? Come to Finding Neverland Bar.. It's like stepping into a whole different world. Passport not required. Visit us at the Below Address.. http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=1067 Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact Tallulah, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. '' 'REFERENCES''' '''1. '''Article taken from http://pvp.a.mafia.org/gazette.php?issue=30 Browse • • • • • • •